Meeting someone on an online dating app is as common as meeting them in any other way. And there are so many apps out there. Still, just meeting someone is one thing. Creating a meaningful connection is another. If a relationship is what you’re looking for, eHarmony has an excellent track record.
eHarmony been around for nearly two decades and has over four million visitors per month. They have a scientific approach to matching people. But what are the exact steps one has to go through to get a match on eHarmony?
One of the things that makes eHarmony so different from other dating apps is the lengthy questionnaire users have to fill out during the sign-up process. For a long time, it was necessary to answer each question in order to proceed with the registration. As of recently, users are no longer required to answer every question, only as many as they’re comfortable with.
Of course, the more questions answered increases the chances of a more compatible match. But what do these questions even look like? They call it the 29 Dimensions Questionnaire, and it’s made of 155 questions in total. Those questions are meant to evaluate the users in six areas:
- Preference for partner closeness
- Level of sexual and romantic passion
- Extroversion and openness
- Importance of spirituality
- How happy and optimistic they are
Examples of the Questions
Answering that many questions about yourself in one go can be overwhelming. First off, you’re asked about basic things. You set up your profile with your email and location and then the first 14 questions are about things that describe who you are, what you do, and your current status.
You answer questions about your ethnicity, level of education, employment, and income. You also get to tell them about what kind of thing you’re looking for. Are you a single parent, and whether or not you’re looking to start a family? You can also state whether you’re a smoker and if and how often you drink.
But after those initial 14 questions, it’s time to dive into more serious matters, those that will better determine if you’ll get matched on eHarmony. You will be asked about your passions in life and the things you’re most thankful for. You can also answer questions about what kind of things you do in your leisure time and how well certain statements describe you.
And since a lot of people have been through divorces these days, you’ll be asked if you want to consider someone who already has kids. There are also questions about physical appearance, whether you’re happy with yours and how much it’s important for you in others.
Finally, you’ll get to answer a list of questions that contain statements that you agree or disagree with, and you get to answer about your interests. And you can also provide answers about the type of feelings you’ve had in the past month, and how skilled you are at certain things.
Do Opposites Attract?
The founders of eHarmony firmly believe that if provided with accurate and detailed information, it’s possible to find the right match for anyone. Naturally, one of the main prerequisites is to be as honest as you possibly can while answering the questions. After you’re done with that, the algorithm will provide you with viable options for a partner.
But for many people, this is where they get apprehensive. What about the “opposites attract” mantra? People aren’t too keen on looking for someone who’s just like them; they get excited about the prospect of meeting someone completely different. It’s all about complementary qualities and finding the missing pieces. Well, not exactly. At least, not according to eHarmony.
Initially, opposites might attract – eHarmony recognizes that. But their philosophy is that eventually, those differences are going to hinder your relationship more than benefit it. This is particularly evident in the moments of crisis or a very stressful event. How much would it bother you if your partner reacted completely differently from what you expect? Issues like that can accumulate and then cause permanent harm to the relationship.
You Can’t Browse
There’s one more thing that can baffle new users of eHarmony, something that’s an essential part of their matching process. And that’s the fact that there’s no “search” option on the app. You can’t just go browsing for people and messaging them randomly. The way it works is that eHarmony delivers several matches to you each day.
One of the main reasons they do it that way is the paradox of choice. Sure, having a lot of options is a good thing, but too many options can lead to indecision. And another reason they don’t allow users to explore on their own is that their matching system optimized how likely it is for someone to respond to your message and vice versa.
Therefore, it’s not just about the compatibility match, but the algorithm actually counts for how likely it is two people will start a conversation. The biggest complaint one can make here is that sometimes you won’t get as many matches as you’d like in one day. But that can sometimes have to do with where you live and how much information you’ve provided in the beginning.
Finding the Right Match Is (Not) Easy
Sure, eHarmony does everything they can do find you someone you might like long-term. They don’t specialize in casual relationships. The company’s main objective is introducing you to someone you might consider marrying or living with. And that means looking for things that could bind you and not separate you. So, honesty is important, and also some introspection about what exactly you are looking for.
Have you ever used eHarmony? Or any other dating app? Let us know in the comments section below.