How To Message Someone on Tinder

We all know the process of messaging someone on Tinder. We swipe right, wait for a match and then initiate a conversation. If experience is anything to go by, not many people know how to message someone on Tinder. What to say, whether to use a one liner and how you open a dialog with that match.

That is what we are going to cover today. I’m not going to tell you exactly what to say as it will differ depending on you and your match. What I will cover is some basic tips for making that first move and composing that first message.

Getting the message across in Tinder

The first thing to consider when using a dating app such as Tinder is that it isn’t a game. It isn’t a competition to see how many swipes you get or how many dates you can go on in any given month. You should ideally treat it as you would if you met someone in a bar. You catch their eye, get the signal and make a move. You get one chance to make a good impression otherwise it’s all over.

Treat Tinder the same way and you will already elevate yourself above 90% of other users.

Forget pickup lines

The second biggest tip for success when you message someone on Tinder is to forget the one-liners. There are dozens of websites all promising unbeatable pickup lines and guaranteed success with their conversation openers. Use them at your peril. While they may work with the odd match, they won’t do much else for you.

Essentially, you only need to remember one thing. If you found those ‘guaranteed’ pickup lines on the internet and read them, the person you want to talk to may have read them too. Copying and pasting some cheesy line is not going to go down well if they recognize it for what it is.

Tailor Tinder messages to your audience

Pickup lines copied from websites do not work. Neither do generic openers like ‘Hi, how are you?’ They show lack of imagination and effort. The majority of people are lazy and it often shows. If you make an effort and tailor your message to your match, you are again placing yourself above the majority of Tinder users.

When you get a match, look at the profile and read it. Look at all the images and build up a picture of the person you’re looking at. Then find something in that profile that you can use as an opener. This will obviously differ with every match but you need to invest the time and effort if you want to succeed.

Once you get used to it, you will be able to scan a Tinder profile and pick out something to use in less than a minute so it isn’t exactly a time sink. You would have to spend much longer than that working on someone in a bar or club so why is Tinder different?

Use humor if you can, don’t if you can’t

Everyone loves a sense of humor but only if it flows naturally. If you’re not naturally funny, be careful how you use humor as it can come across lame or creepy. A humorous opener is an ideal one as it shows intelligence and character and is a good way to come across. Just make sure your opener isn’t too sarcastic or caustic. At least get the conversation flowing before you use that!

Ask questions

All of us like to be valued for more than our looks so using questions is the best way to show interest. You can use a question as an opener as long as it is an intelligent one and not just referring to looks, figure or something crass. Asking questions about them as a person also shows them that you aren’t just interested in superficial things. Even if all you want to do is hook up, showing interest is a great way to get there.

Complements really do get you everywhere

Actually, I should say careful complements get you everywhere. Complement your match by all means but make it about something other than looks. Complement an achievement, a pet, a car, or something other than the physical. If you play it right, you will have plenty of time to complement their looks when you meet. Save it for then.

Tinder is an app but not a game. It can be played as one but if you want to be successful on the platform you have better hide it well. There are no guarantees of success in dating but if you follow those tips above, you will already stand out from the crowd. The rest is up to you!

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